Peter Lynds and Xbox and Life
Peter Lynds: read the article about him and his theory of time that was published in the latest print issue of (Wired). Honestly, it surprised me. I thought that his theory (and I’m hardly doing it justice)–that there is no time, only changes which, relative to each other, give the illusion of time–was a generally accepted theory. Guess not. Makes me wonder where I first heard the idea. Perhaps I thought of it myself? Doubtful, since I don’t much like the theory.
Xbox: can’t remember what I was going to say here, originally. I will say that I believe “they” are right when they say that video games cause your brain to release endorphins or some other neurological chemical to which you can become addicted. I’ve been playing Kingdom Under Fire every chance I get since I got it, and I’m not even sure why. It’s fun, but it’s very repetitive. I finally decided to quit playing for a few weeks so that I can focus on other parts of life. Nothing else seems half as interesting when I have been playing video games.
Of course, that may just be it. Maybe nothing else IS as interesting. Video games provide compressed, distilled excitement, with none of the risk and tedium that are part of any real life, no matter how exciting. A police officer once told me that his job was “five percent terror and nintey-five percent paperwork.” The moments of exhileration also bring fear and real risk, and they are widely spaced by long stretches of dull routine. Video games give you all the good stuff and none of the bad stuff (other than arthritis and lack of sleep). Perhaps I shouldn’t wonder why I like them so much, or why they make everything else seem dull. The involved brain chemistry may simply be the physics of the obvious, like the theory of gravity.
Life: I don’t know whether women struggle with this, but most of the men I know do. I know it is true for me.
I need to be building something, creating something. Something that I believe in, something unique. I realized that some of my dissatisfaction with being a corporate wage slave is that I don’t particularly believe that there’s any “meaning” in a large corporation. We exist in order to exist. Everything else, such as the products we produce, the lives we fund with our salaries, the charities we support, these are just means by which we continue to exist, and by-products of that existance. And at a personal level, I see nothing I want to achieve within the corporate structure. I don’t aspire to any significant, unique role within the corporation. Not that I don’t want promotions, don’t want to make things better, etc. But there aren’t any jobs within the company that seem meaningfully different than mine.
What does this mean? I’m not sure, yet. So many career paths would lead to the same place, in a short amount of time.
May 25th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
I love the URL. I totally agree with you on the wage slave thing. I manage a group of people that support people who support people who build semiconductors that go into products that people are generally indifferent to or unaware of. Its hard to get a lot of satisfaction out of that. I must build stuff - which is why I am always working on a car or some other project.
I just put the wheels in motion to build a barn out at the farm.
RE: Xbox. Don’t feel guilty about playing video games. Think of it like a nice rich dessert. A little after dinner is OK. As long as you are not neglecting your wife or your job in order to play, it’s OK. Play a game until you’re tired of it. Then stop for a while and do other stuff. I have a friend who has let his business fall apart because he spends 40 hours a week playing World of Warcraft. You are nowhere near that.
Cool Blog.
May 25th, 2005 at 12:16 pm
Hot Dog, Gideon’s got a blog. Something new to read when I should be
working, here’s to your productivity, Gideon!
Life:
I know just what you’re talking about. I see two approaches out of
this, first is to concentrate my emotional, etc. energy into activities unrelated to work. Work becomes a way to support the rest. Or, two, re-enter the non-profit world. I was just discussing this last night — finding a non-profit not only with a good mission, but that actually accomplishes it or makes real progress toward that goal. Now that will give some serious satisfaction, meaning, etc. Be careful what you wish for…might be so good to as endanger the home life! Everything in moderation, etc. (Footnote, a third option — approach the corporate world not as a worker unit, but as a creator/owner. If you’re the boss, if you have a good
product or service to sell, it ain’t so bad. Production is
fulfilling.) I am in option one at the moment and see myself trying option two sometime in the next few years. Note, at first glance, option one may sound unfulfilling, but the first complements the second; the non-profit cannot live without the worker-types who donate.
May 31st, 2005 at 12:58 am
hey gideon.
good to see you got your own server.
i’ve been reading your blog for a while now, but never really commented on anything.
xbox: video games are good. to me, my ps2 provides that release from reality and the pressures of life. Although there is that percentage of sad individuals who need to escape the real world every second of their life. Those people I feel bad for, most of the time.
life: i too feel that need to constatly build something. however, i have taught myself to build myself, in the form of further education and reading. besides the craving for grabbing a good power tool and chopping away at some wood and a finger, i have found that it is possible to build yourself and that your mind is a continous project. (had to get that philosophical stuff in somehow.)
anyways, great page, hope you keep up with it. and yes, people do read these things, although i believe, with logs as my witness, that nobody reads mine.