Goals for 2010
Oh poop, has it been 9 months since I posted something, here? You know, I thought I’d get my annual blog-post in early.
My buddy satyr asks me if Spoonfighter is dead. It probably is. Hey – lots of things died in 2009: Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, the Democrats ….
I’m actually bothering to blog because I have to tell someone (i.e. the readers of this blog, i.e. no-one) about my goals for 2010. (I’m sure I’ll have others, when I fail at these.)
1) Goal numero uno: Stop thinking until March
This goal was suggested by my buddy Chris. You see, I have a problem. I am addicted to constantly thinking about life’s big questions. Over and over and over and over. Were it not for this goal, I would have already spent most of this morning tallying up the pros and cons (once again) of such questions as, “What do I really believe about God?”, “What is the point of my own existence?”, and “Will anyone notice if I don’t wear underwear today?”
Secretly, you see, I believe I’m a genius, and that I’m smarter than all those other people who have tried to answer these questions, unsuccessfully. (Buddha went commando. And everyone could tell.) Although I’m getting close to the answers (which I will publish in the form of an eBook), some people have suggested that my “obsessive-compulsive over-thinking” (OCOT) might actually be interfering with some of my other goals, like “enjoying life”, and “not being an angry jerk to my kids.”
My buddy Chris said, “Why don’t you try not thinking for a month?” I told him I’d think about it.
2) Goal numero dos: Read everything on the internet
As 2009 was coming to a close, I realized that I only flirt with the internet. I never commit. I don’t jump in at the deep end. I don’t get the big, extra-value, 20%-more free, bottle o’ internet, and slather the entire contents over my whole body.
What a disgusting image. Anyway, this goal grew out of one of last year’s goals, which was to figure out a way to make some money off the internet. I soon noticed that several other people already seem to have had that idea. That’s when it dawned on me that I have almost no idea what’s actually on the internet these days. I don’t have a list of blogs I read. I don’t hang out at YouTube. I don’t Tweet. I only just found out about Lala.
So, in the interest of setting attainable goals, and with all the extra time I have now that I’m not thinking or wearing underwear to work, I will explore the internet, page by page, link by link, NSFW-video by NSFW-video. A journey of a 7,943,567,328,293,335,110,832,477 miles begins with a single step. Those who say it can’t be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it!
At least I already know about lolcats. That’s about 15% of the internet, right there.
January 25th, 2010 at 10:26 am
I think that, if you work enough on numero dos, you will easily achieve numero uno.
January 25th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Dont think I’m stalking you or anything, I just happened to check in for the first time in months, ’cause you’re still on my list, and there you were.
Anyway, I had a friend who used to wish that he was retarded, because they always seemed to be pretty happy. I personally thought that was a stupid idea, but there’s no telling some people. Thinking aint the problem, thinking in circles is the problem. Maybe you dont watch enough TV? Or hit yourself in the head wth a hammer enough?
Personally, I’m becoming rather bored with the internet. It’s turning out to be a lot like cable TV; lot’s of dross, very little gold.
January 25th, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Shhh…. the internet gods will hear you!
January 25th, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Good to hear from you again, DAFH!
And nice to hear from you, Munzer!
January 27th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Good post! See you in 2011!