I quit the South Beach diet after one week. I couldn’t handle the following side-effects:

* feeling like a lobotomy patient
* having, as my wife described it, “rotting beef breath”
* being so constipated that it was like having concrete in my colon

How can you possibly loose weight if you never poop?

So, now I’m back to my usual, infrequent-excercise-and-beer diet. I plan to write a book.

In other news, I am moving ever closer to paying someone else to host this website, and buying a domain name. I had been thinking of going with “hotdogsoup.com,” but now I think I might try something different. If you have any suggestions, by all means let me know so that I can rip off your idea.

Of course, there really aren’t any domain names left. Some enterprising a**h*** seems to have purchased ever word in the dictionary, and most of the possible combinations of those words. They have not, of course, put up websites. In a few years, we’ll all just have to use IP addresses.

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