So my wife is going to see the Sex And The City movie tonight with a bunch of her girlfriends. Apparently women all across America are doing the same thing, and men all across America are breathing a collective sigh of relief that they aren’t being dragged down to the movie theater for Date Night, like they were for Pride and Prejudice.*

I’ve actually heard that there are some men out there who are planning on seeing it. Let me just say this: if you are (1) a dude, and (2) going to see Sex And The City, and (3) this decision is actually voluntary (ie., terrorists are not holding a gun to your head and/or you will not be getting sex from your spouse in exchange for your attendance) your manhood is hereby revoked. Please drop it off at the nearest ladies bathroom or scrapbook store. (You should also do this if you voted for David Archuletta at any point during the past season of American Idol.)

Ok, ok - I’ve never actually watched an episode of Sex And The City, but I don’t need to in order to know that it’s not exactly oriented towards the male mind. First of all, if guys had made a show for guys called Sex And The City, it would have been on much later at night and it would have been about strippers. And I would have gotten in trouble for knowing anything about it.

Some very basic research reveals that the show is, in fact, largely about shoes. And someone named Carrie, and her three friends, and all their dysfunctional relationships. They’re all really messed up, but they’re rich, glamorous, and sexy, too. So they’re just like normal middle-aged women, except for the rich, glamorous, and sexy part. Oh, and there’s this dude named Mr. Big. I think maybe he’s her pimp. I’m not sure. Not a single one of these characters has superpowers, carries a really big gun, or is a ninja, so why the hell anyone would want to watch the TV show, let alone the movie, is beyond me. Anyway, I just saved you ten bucks. You can thank me later.

* Ok, seriously, why couldn’t Pride and Prejudice have been a Girls Night Out instead of Chick Flick Date Night? I had to employ my trusty “beer belly” to get through it.

I gotta give a plug to di.fm, an internet radio site which streams techno of various varieties free of charge. I love it.

My new favorite web comic!

http://pbfcomics.com

A friend of mine has a very cool … thing … on the web. I’m not sure how to describe it. Basically, it’s a labrinth of web pages linked together non-intuitively and non-linearly. Each page is a creative work of some kind and many of them contain one or more hidden links to other creative works in the labrinth. I’m not sure how else to describe it. Check it out. Link. It is, I believe, still in-progress.

The lawyer. The boyfriend. The Bahamanian Immigration Minister. Zsa Zsa’s Husband. Osama Bin Ladin. Good lord - Was I the only person not having sex with Ms. Smith? Why didn’t anyone tell me?

I can’t believe KT Tunstall wasn’t even nominated for “Best New Artist”. But when you consider that this is the category that brought us such musical geniuses as A Taste of Honey and Milli Vanilli, perhaps it was a compliment.

Pundits like to point out that we are a deeply divided nation, and they’re right. There’s us - people who like interesting, intelligent, creative and original music - and them - people who like Christina Aguilera. And it’s one of the great tragedies of democracy that we can’t round them up and shoot them for their appalling taste.

Love to hear what other people think about this. Do public school teachers have a responsibility to not be crazy whack-jobs outside of the classroom?

Link

You know, one of the things I don’t miss about being unemployed is daytime network TV. Yeah, that’s right. I don’t have cable.

As near as I can tell, there are only four things on TV during the day:

1) Soaps starring B-list celebrities
2) Talk shows featuring B-list celebrities and incredibly stupid people
3) Paid programming trying to take money from incredibly stupid people
4) Small-claims court shows featuring incredibly stupid people

The Spanish-language channel is a little better. It has all the same crappy shows, but with mega cleavage. The soaps. The talk show hosts. Even the Spanish version of Judge Judy has a low-cut blouse. (I really hope I don’t catch their version of Judge Joe Brown.)

Note: I am honestly not sure who I’m insulting here. - SF

As you no doubt know by now, Israel has invaded Lebanon in an effort to find Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ new baby, Suri, who apparently was hustled away minutes after birth and has never been seen by any living human beings, only Scientologists.

But what I am really concerned with, however, is the plight of the world’s Atheists, who - to this very day - do not have a religion of their own.

In my humble* opinion, it is downright descriminatory that Atheists have been denied their basic human right to have a religion, simply because they don’t believe in God.

Many people seem to think that religion is, if nothing else, a belief in some sort of god. How bigoted. Atheists are human beings, just like people who do believe in a god, and they have a right to all the same privileges that god-believers enjoy. They have a right to religion just like everyone else.

Religion is so much more than a divine being. Religon is whacky hats and robes, incense, holy water, ancient scriptures and spiffy temples. Religion is prophets and lists of things that you can’t do, holy wars and people on TV with big hair. Don’t Atheists have a right to these things, too?

The answer, I say, is a resounding YES!! I forsee a day when Athiests will gather together in special buildings to sing beautiful hymns about not believing in anything, when little boy Atheists and little girl Atheists will sit, spellbound, listening to an adult Atheist tell the stories of ancient, mighty unbelievers, using a felt board. I forsee a day when groups of Atheists will go door-to-door, interrupting people in the middle of their favorite TV shows, to tell them about nothing.

Many of you who read this will laugh. But one day - one glorious day - this dream will be a reality.

Amen. Let us pray. whisper words to nobody in particular.

* not

Springtime in Denver is breathtaking. I get to enjoy it from behind windows and windshields, and for the approximately 4 accumulated minutes I spend walking between my car and various buildings every day.

It’s not really that bad, but I wish I could get out more this year. We’re so busy getting the decks cleared prior to the arrival of Spoon Jr. that there isn’t any time for getting out into nature.

People are driving with their windows down, and my neighborhood, where Black, Latino and White live together in relative harmony, is constantly serenaded with the sounds of each culture’s music: Rap, Polka, and Sirens.

Speaking of which, I’m amazed at the number of Rap and R&B cuts about the fascinating subject of “Being at the Club”. I had no idea it was such a rich wellspring of artistic material. In that way, it is a lot like “Bling”, I suppose.

I have been doing a lousy job of blogging lately. I was starting to see a significant increase in the number of unique visitors, but I suspect I’ve ruined that trend. I miss the comment spam, too. Please, spammers, don’t stop. I love hearing about cheap software, prescription drugs and adult items. Really.