Archive for the 'Entertainment' Category

Daytime TV

Friday, November 3rd, 2006

You know, one of the things I don’t miss about being unemployed is daytime network TV. Yeah, that’s right. I don’t have cable.

As near as I can tell, there are only four things on TV during the day:

1) Soaps starring B-list celebrities
2) Talk shows featuring B-list celebrities and incredibly stupid people
3) Paid programming trying to take money from incredibly stupid people
4) Small-claims court shows featuring incredibly stupid people

The Spanish-language channel is a little better. It has all the same crappy shows, but with mega cleavage. The soaps. The talk show hosts. Even the Spanish version of Judge Judy has a low-cut blouse. (I really hope I don’t catch their version of Judge Joe Brown.)

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Equal Rights

Wednesday, July 19th, 2006

Note: I am honestly not sure who I’m insulting here. – SF

As you no doubt know by now, Israel has invaded Lebanon in an effort to find Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ new baby, Suri, who apparently was hustled away minutes after birth and has never been seen by any living human beings, only Scientologists.

But what I am really concerned with, however, is the plight of the world’s Atheists, who – to this very day – do not have a religion of their own.

In my humble* opinion, it is downright descriminatory that Atheists have been denied their basic human right to have a religion, simply because they don’t believe in God.

Many people seem to think that religion is, if nothing else, a belief in some sort of god. How bigoted. Atheists are human beings, just like people who do believe in a god, and they have a right to all the same privileges that god-believers enjoy. They have a right to religion just like everyone else.

Religion is so much more than a divine being. Religon is whacky hats and robes, incense, holy water, ancient scriptures and spiffy temples. Religion is prophets and lists of things that you can’t do, holy wars and people on TV with big hair. Don’t Atheists have a right to these things, too?

The answer, I say, is a resounding YES!! I forsee a day when Athiests will gather together in special buildings to sing beautiful hymns about not believing in anything, when little boy Atheists and little girl Atheists will sit, spellbound, listening to an adult Atheist tell the stories of ancient, mighty unbelievers, using a felt board. I forsee a day when groups of Atheists will go door-to-door, interrupting people in the middle of their favorite TV shows, to tell them about nothing.

Many of you who read this will laugh. But one day – one glorious day – this dream will be a reality.

Amen. Let us pray. whisper words to nobody in particular.

* not

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They Tell Me The Weather Is Beautiful

Friday, May 12th, 2006

Springtime in Denver is breathtaking. I get to enjoy it from behind windows and windshields, and for the approximately 4 accumulated minutes I spend walking between my car and various buildings every day.

It’s not really that bad, but I wish I could get out more this year. We’re so busy getting the decks cleared prior to the arrival of Spoon Jr. that there isn’t any time for getting out into nature.

People are driving with their windows down, and my neighborhood, where Black, Latino and White live together in relative harmony, is constantly serenaded with the sounds of each culture’s music: Rap, Polka, and Sirens.

Speaking of which, I’m amazed at the number of Rap and R&B cuts about the fascinating subject of “Being at the Club”. I had no idea it was such a rich wellspring of artistic material. In that way, it is a lot like “Bling”, I suppose.

I have been doing a lousy job of blogging lately. I was starting to see a significant increase in the number of unique visitors, but I suspect I’ve ruined that trend. I miss the comment spam, too. Please, spammers, don’t stop. I love hearing about cheap software, prescription drugs and adult items. Really.

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WTF-Watch: Pat Robertson Can Leg Press 2000 lbs?

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

According to the 700 Club website, cbn.com, 75-year-old Pat Robertson can leg press 2000 lbs (link). (For comparison, I can leg press 400 lbs and have a hernia at the same time.)

If only he could keep his mouth shut.

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The Sports Report!

Thursday, November 10th, 2005

Last night Mrs. SpoonFighter and I were given tickets to the Pepsi Center to watch some tall guys dressed in blue pajamas and some tall guys in white pajamas play basketball. I think the guys in blue were called the Nuggets. Or maybe Nougats. I’m not really into sports.

There was this little guy whose shirt said “Boykins.” Seriously, he can’t have been more than 4’2″. At half time I tried to get close enough to ask him if he knew the Keebler Elves and could he maybe get me some cookies, but security stopped me.

For some reason, play stops every five minutes and these cheerleaders/exotic dancers run out onto the court. Now I know what happens during commercials. If they’d do the commercials while the players were on the court, and show the dancers, I’d watch more games. As long as my wife wasn’t home.

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Worst Album Covers Ever

Thursday, November 3rd, 2005

bad album cover

These album covers are awful. Check out the rest of them, courtesy of The Guardian: link.

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