I should tell you a little bit about myself. I’ve been a Barbarian for close to ten years, now. I originally wanted to study Medieval
Literature, but I was told the Middle Ages hadn’t really gotten rolling yet, it being only 596 AD and all.

There really weren’t that many vocational choices at the turn of the Seventh Century. My father and mother were both dung-shoveling peasants, as were their parents and grandparents.

Toward the end of school I went to see the guidance counselor. She brought me into her office and had me sit down.

“So what can I do for you?” she asked.

“I don’t know what to do when I finish school,” I said.

She smiled, and reached into her file cabinet. “I have just the thing,” she said, and handed me this test.

I spent a couple of hours answering hundreds of questions about what I do and don’t like, and then I brought the test back to the guidance counselor. She told me to wait a second while she processed my results, then immediately crumpled up the test, threw it into the trash, and handed me a piece of paper. It said:

DUNG-SHOVELLING PEASANT

“What?,” I exclaimed, shocked. “You didn’t even look at my answers.”

“There’s only one career, dear,” she replied, still smiling, and showed me out.

I figured it was probably time to leave town, so I packed my bags and said goodbye to my brothers, sisters and parents. I can still see them, crying and waving goodbye, little bits of dung flying everywhere.

Hello there. I am called Ulf.

SpoonFighter has asked me if I would be interested in taking over responsibility for this blog, for a while.

I said Ok, and then burned down his house and carried off all his money and Mrs. SpoonFighter. I’m just kidding of course. He didn’t have any money.

I have always wanted a blog. Not many people have them here in 606 AD. Not many computers, either: I can only post an entry if we sack a village and Alaric doesn’t set the library on fire.

Soon we will become good friends, I hope. Perhaps you will post many nice comments, or even send me email. Or your address. And I will come to your house to drink mead with you. And then I will burn it down. And carry off your wife.