Tonight my wife asked me, “You would never have an affair, would you?”

“Are you kidding?” I replied. “I barely have enough time to keep one woman unhappy.”

Hello Kitty AK-47. Oh man.

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Orientation: Partner at big law firm
Week 1: Partner at medium law firm
Week 2: Partner at small law firm
Week 3: Associate at any law firm
Week 4: Personal injury attorney
Week 5: Paralegal
–Update–
Week 7: President of the United States

Once again, I’ve managed to keep my little boat afloat for one more day on a river which will inevitably pour over the waterfall of disaster.

Don’t worry. Be happy!

Didn’t tell anyone that my birthday, or do anything to celebrate. In fact, I almost forgot about it, myself. Had my parents and grandparents not sent cards, I might have. Let’s see … national life expectancy for men = 78. Time left = 78 - 32 = 46. I’m almost to the average midpoint. Weird. Very weird. But not as weird as it will be when I’m 78, knowing that I could go at any moment.

What a crock. How come the first time I have a graded writing assignment due, which we were told to hand in by the deadline on pain of death, dismemberment, or failure, I get royally sick the entire weekend before, and then, minutes before I’m due to leave the house and make the trek to Boulder to hand in my masterpiece, I find that I’ve lost my keys (for the first time in years) and that the car I have spares for is the one my wife is driving?

I’m in Torts class. Torts are things you might be inclined to sue someone for. As opposed to Tarts, which are tasty pastries, or loose women. Anyhoooooo….. We’re discussing important things. Exploding hay stacks. Epileptic drivers. Dumbness not being a defense in negligence cases.

Interesting things I have learned so far:

1. You are held responsible to know the Law.
2. The “Law” is hard to find, hard to explain, hard to understand, unclear, self-contradictory, and open to change by a judge at any moment: You cannot know the Law.
3. Ahahahahahahaha!

This is my first full week of classes. In general, I’m not impressed with the method of instruction in Law School, so far. I have read that almost all law schools follow the same basic method, though, so I’m not complaining about CU, my school.

In every other “technical” subject I’ve taken, whether in college or in professional training, you start by learning general rules that give you a rough handle on the subject, and a framework to make further learning easier, and then you proceed to more detailed study of the exceptions and subtleties that make it all interesting.

Law School, on the other hand, does it backwards, immersing you in the subtleties and exceptions and expecting you, over time, to develop a sense of the general rules.

Professors claim that this is because the law is always changing, and that it is more important to teach you how to think like a lawyer. But that could be said of every subject. The law actually changes less than most fields. The human brain learns better when it has a rough conceptual framework from which to start. I may change my mind, later, but so far law school appears to involve a great deal of wasted effort.

Two things:

1) Sorry I haven’t posted lately. Was on vacation in Oregon, where I went to high school, rediscovering the incredible beauty, my relatives, and my allergies.

2) Just started law school. Way too much to think about. So much so, that in spite of the post title, I won’t actually say anything about it.

3) Just wanted to have a third item.

Based on my calculations, it’s been about 12,037 days (give or take a few) since the sexual encounter that started my life. I’m still not sure how I feel about the planet Earth, or the human experience. Eating is nice. Bathing can be fun. Putting on clothes is hit or miss. Definitely not keen on work.

I’m wrapping up the last day of my third-to-last week of work in my current profession (Unix Systems Administration). The end can’t arrive soon enough. No-one seems to know what to say to me, around the office. I wander by my coworkers’ offices and try to chat, but they give me lifeless smiles and keep their bodies pointed toward their keyboards … bad body language. Maybe they’re just jealous I get to escape?

Of course, I’m just escaping to another kind of work, another way to avoid having to grow my own food. One of my co-workers summed it up well, a few days ago. “My wife says that I still haven’t figured out what I want to do in life, but she’s wrong. I know exactly what I want to do: nothing.”

Better get back to it.